I knew early on after the babes were born that in order for me to be the absolute best mom I could be, I needed scheduled, guilt free breaks and the occasional night off. As the babes have grown, and my career has shifted to a “work from home mom”, my need to have guilt free breaks has grown even stronger. I need me time. Time from the chaos that is twins, time away from the hugs and skinned knees, time away from the snuggles and the tears. Time away from Motherhood.
I’m sensitive, sometimes too sensitive, from sounds to physical touch to my emotions, sometimes I feel like I’m in this heightened state and the sounds and touches around can get to be too much. Its hard to explain without being me but it’s almost as if the chaos around me makes me claustrophobic, but only to chaos. If it gets to be too much, I begin to get irritable and cranky and shut down. Sometimes finding a small ounce of quiet is all I need to feel better.
Setting time aside for myself as a work from home mother, whether it is working, working out, or grabbing brunch with friends has become a crucial part of motherhood. I’ve learned that taking these breaks without feeling guilt allows me to be a better mom. I leave my kids daily for at least an hour. However I need to make this happen, I do.
I think society does a really crappy job at letting mothers know that taking guilt free breaks is okay. For some reason, there’s a big stigma and people shy away from saying it feels good to take a break from their kids. I felt odd saying that I needed to step away from motherhood once a day and that I didn’t feel any guilt about it. I think I was mostly afraid of how other moms would look at me, like maybe I’m a bad mom for prioritizing myself over my kids. But then I met other moms who appreciated my honesty and who felt the same. I know now that I’m not a bad mom. Nor is the mom who does feel guilt about leaving her child… but I do want to say to that mama, release that guilt. It’s all going to be okay.
WHAT GUILT FREE BREAKS LOOK LIKE
– We go to the YMCA and I drop the kids off at the childcare, sometimes I work and sometimes I workout, sometimes I sit and have coffee for two hours and scroll through social media. I leave them in the childcare for the allowed 2 hours. I feel no guilt about this. They’re generally happy to go in, they seem to have fun, and when I pick them up, I’m refreshed to see them again, I’m excited and happy and they can feed off of my positive vibe.
– When I drop my kids at preschool, I have no guilt. I know they are learning all sorts of great things both academically and socially. By leaving my kids, I’m able to focus on the things I need to get done, errands that need to be run and work that needs to be finished. This allows me to be fully present when I’m with them. My phone is down, my computer is closed, I am mentally there.
– Hiring a baby sitter so I can step away from life for a moment. I especially feel no guilt about this one… Sometimes I have to work but sometimes I just need to go to a coffee shop and sit and read. The babes truly love our sitters and have a blast with them. Plus, it’s in the comforts of their own home and they know mom is coming back!
– Mom dates without kids to connect and grow my friendships. I feel no guilt taking time for my friends, because we don’t have family close by, my friends are super important to me, having that social outlet is a priority that I know I need in my life.
– Most recently, we sent the kids to Grandma’s for a week! I have no guilt surrounding this, I think it’s amazing and I spent so many summers with my own grandparents making memories of a lifetime! I’ll have to share more about this when the week is over but the past two days have been absolutely marvelous!
So I want to know… are you taking breaks from motherhood? Are they guilt free? And what do you do for a break?
